Friday, January 20, 2012


My husband told me the other day, "I think I am ready to pick out Perry's stone now."

On one hand, I want it to be very well done and unique. I located a sculptor in Springfield, TN that is willing to do special projects. On the other hand, I really hate doing this, because both my husband and I recognize that this is the last thing that we could do for him as parents.

With most things, we had so little choices. With an infant, many choose cremation, which has positive and negative aspects, but that means the funeral industry doesn't carry a lot. Add in the factor that many young parents do not have money, and there isn't a large ninche. My choices for the casket were limited to something that looked like a white styrofoam cooler, but 'could double as a vault' or only a small largely plastic white coffin. I couldn't even choose wood or a color. This bothered me a bit.

Tombstones are somewhat along the same line. I can have a heart, a teddy bear, or if I pay a bit more, a lamb or a valentine day cherub. I don't really want any of these. I want something that is actually art, not necessarily cutesy, but something appropriate for a little boy. I don't want a stone with just words, he couldn't read, and truth be told the stone is as much for Emily who wouldn't appreciate a stone like that either. She wants to touch things, not be told about them.

So far the sculptor has two ideas: one is Noah's ark and the other is a grouping of toys. I like Noah's ark, but I was thinking maybe a baby being held by an angel... maybe even a male angel? Or a baby laying on the ground holding his head up with an angel reaching for him? I don't know.

We've been saving money for this, from kind gifts to money from floor jobs. I know it is a little lofty, but this is oddly enough, the most important piece of art we will ever purchase. My husband commented that it will be the most ornate stone in the churchyard. I told him that I didn't care. I won't get to spend money on preschool, baseball uniforms, used cars, college, weddings, or baby gifts. If it is seen as a waste of money, well, that person wouldn't really 'get' it anyway.


1 comment:

  1. Katie, Chris, and Emily,

    Picking out a stone for your child...for your baby, is unheard of isn't it? When you were expecting Perry last year, you were expecting to share your lives with him. No one ever imagines taking care of their child the way that your family has been chosen to. Thankfully, you were able to share your lives with him. Perry is blessed to be a part of your family...blessed to have shared his entire life here on earth with you. Now, he his being held in the loving arms of his Savior. But you want to hold him too, I know.

    As I read the ideas that the sculptor has for Perry's stone, I had some thoughts. When I think about Noah's ark, I picture a rainbow to go with it. Rainbows remind me of God's promises. After taking down our Christmas cards and family pictures that were included in so many of them, I caught Heather staring at your family's picture. I had a couple of her little friends' pictures in my hand and asked her if she wanted to put them on her special wall. She said, "No, I want Perry's family." So, your family picture hangs on our wall in Heather's corner with all of her special treasures. It's the first thing I see each time I walk into our home. When I came in the other day, there were rainbows on our wall from a prism that hangs in our window. One of the rainbows was directly above your family's picture. It brought a bittersweet smile to my face. Again, I was reminded of God's promises.

    I also like the picture of Perry being held in heaven by angels or being held safe in the arms of Jesus. It's a comforting picture. I pray that all of you are able to find just the right picture that will bring a smile to your face...through your tears...each time you visit him.

    As you continue to remember and miss Perry, I pray that you also continue to look forward to heaven where you will see him again.