We finally arranged for the first meeting with the sculptor. I think we both know what we want now. I think we are going to ask for an angel holding perry holding her other hand up with a small hook in it so we can have the angel holding the lantern. I want Perry smiling or curious. I do not want a weeping angel, because I want the angel to be sure that this child is going home. Chris wants the lantern. I think the theme is that we want to envision Perry being carried home and guided by light, not alone and left in darkness in some purgatory of the people who do not believe in God's unconditional love for children.
I have no idea what this particular venture will cost us. Worst case scenario is a no and then we will be no worse off. We don't drive new cars or gamble, we do not smoke... so I am hoping we can swing this.
But then now I am left with the task of digging through my Perry file to pick out his most recent pictures and video. This is already breaking loose the waterworks. How sad is it that a person's recorded life can fit in one computer file? I would actually be comforted it it at least bogged the computer down a bit, but in this day and age it easily fits on one memory device. The abscence of these other pictures is the worst part. His life was too short... even his belongings all fit in Emily's closet along with her extensive wardrobe.
But I am hoping this memorial piece will be a nice move in the other direction, give us something a bit more permanent. I hope that the people that attend Perry's little church will like it. If I go there one day after service and see people stopping to look at it after a service, I will know we did this piece right. He deserves some special things to keep his memory alive in at least a small way. I want it to be beautiful, something that makes me happy when I go and see him instead of something so small all I can do is caress his name and a very short stretch of dates that mark his physical existence here. Something his sister delights in.
I don't really like to go shopping anymore anyway. It's just all cloth and plastic. Here is where maybe money can buy a little solace in a place where we need it.