Friday, October 7, 2016


This is October. It is my bittersweet time of remembering. The following is a project that is part of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. I have decided to do some of the projects, even if it takes me a bit longer or I do not exactly follow directions.

The first day is listed as Sunrise and I thought it oddly fitting that the first photo that popped up today on my feed is this:

This is what I think of as Perry's sunrise, full of promise.

If you know me, I want you to look at the face on the far right. This is me, the before. It was maybe 6 years ago but I feel I have easily aged 20 years since then. The beauty of this photo is that it was the first taken of me with the knowledge of Perry. I had found about him the previous week after arriving at the Academy. Somehow that first week I just knew.

These guys and women were some of the first I told, and after battling through four years of classes and epic papers we had developed both professional and personal friendships. They were also some of the first to reach out in that agonizing week after, when so many did not know what to do. The fire service, this bunch included, is comprised of some of the finest human beings I know; To be able to see what they have seen and still have compassion is a rare trait in society.

I wonder if I could somehow talk to this girl what I would say.

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