It struck me in church today, and on the way home, that this earth has a lot less appeal to me. I was so happy with my little family. I was content.
But this is the world, it is not perfect.
Now heaven has more meaning to me. Instead of the image I had as a child as something like a big church church service, but with more music and angels floating around... something I wasn't so sure sounded as great as the adults thought, I have a different image that is beginning to take shape.
It is rest, and renewel, here there are no tears or need of mourning songs. Things here make sense, we finally get to see the total of our God who is more than an abstract image. We understand the actions of others, so the hurt is lessened or taken away. There is a new complete vision of our brothers and sisters. We may weep, but perhaps only for those left behind who hurt because they cannot see, or perhaps with simple happiness. And here we use our talents to worship and serve others, some developed on earth and some left withering on the vine there, it is not the static picture on the chapel ceiling of an old nation that gathers dust.
Is this part of a lesson for me then? That we should not be so content with our life here that we do not long to be united with our God and our family there?
As the hart panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after thee, O God.
My soul thirsteth for God, for the living God: when shall I come and appear before God?
I am not nearly as afraid of death. At the same time, I recognize how short our lives are. That while heaven is where our gifts may be perfected, that they are needed more by those who are hurting here in this moment of our time. This is the field, of people you know already and those you have yet to meet. Where broken bodies and spirits cry, and where joy is sometimes made that much sweeter from the contrast.
If I could skip all this pain and not have had to walk in this life's steps, would I appreciate heaven as much? Would we rebel just as some of the angels that could see God did? Would we be fit or happy to live there? Is this contrast of pain necessary?