Perry's Video

I hate the feeling that everything is fading. It is not as easy to remember the weight of Perry in my arms or even his smile.

This is the video I watch when I want to remember him clearly. It was probably less than a week or two before he died and is one of the treasures I was able to find again. I know this because he was starting to drool, a sure sign of teething to come. It had started just about two weeks before he left us.

His face was losing that newborn look and was starting to settle into one that would probably be recognizable into his early childhood at least. His hair was still soft, but had lost a little of the down and was now growing past the tips of his ears. I was starting to wonder how I could get his ultraconservative Dad to let me keep it long until his birthday. But then, Emily already had long hair at the age of 1... I just wanted to enjoy him fully as a baby before he become a little boy all the way. Chris made strong statements about our family being perfect. I thought there was a good chance of Perry being a caboose and I wanted to enjoy every minute of him as he was.

As with so many of his videos, it was short. I clicked off the video quickly before I went to take care of the dogs barking in th background.

I wish I had picked him up instead, somehow set the camera down still filming. Captured at least one hug or kiss.