There is a bit of frustration that Perry's stone is still not complete. For reasons beyond our control, the angel is still not up. The artist couldn't understand the importance of the Oct 31st date (trying to get it installed before the 1 year anniversary of Perry's death). And now it is too cold for the special masonry 'glue' to set. Initially it was supposed be done while summer was still in full swing and has drug out into a year long process.
In some of this, it has been extremely aggravating for Chris. He is task oriented and it drives him nuts. At the same time, I feel like there is a boiling anger associated with the project that may be misdirected. I don't think he realizes it, but I think deep down he is angry we have to have a stone at all. He doesn't understand why my anger doesn't rise to match his at times, and it is because I think he doesn't always understand the true root of his own. He is upset because his son should be here.
I don't know it is what I envisioned, but at the same time it is much more than a flat stone. I am happy and yet unsatisfied with it all at once. Because I believe that deep down, nothing is good enough... nothing can fully express what it is we feel for Perry. And nothing short of the grace of God that we will only experience in heaven can bring him back.
The angel is waiting in darkness in the work shop for spring to release him.
I'll show you the full project then, which has a lot more to it than a simple base.
I wonder if then we will have a sense of completeness about it, or if we will be sad because that final check mark is done.
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